Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
