Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
