Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
