i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
