we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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