Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
