you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
