I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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