i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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