If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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