Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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