She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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