I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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