so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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