Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
