Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
