I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
