i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
wow bdsm is so cute
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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