I want to stick my p in your. b.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
