Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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