wakey wakey hands off snakey
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
