problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
