I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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