It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
