he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
