you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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