i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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