bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
