So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
