508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
