I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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