I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
