I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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