Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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