She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Screwed.edu
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
