i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
