I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
