Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
