yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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