For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
