This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
