hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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