I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
