East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
