FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
