god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
