This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
