so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
