Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
honey bunches of taint.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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