they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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