Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
