it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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