You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
