Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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