I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
