if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
