That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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