go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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