she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
