YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize