yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
