i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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