I just pynch a tree in the face
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
