It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
