your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
